In My Mind

In My Mind
Artist(s):	Amanda Palmer
Album:	Amanda Palmer Goes Down Under
Release date:	2013
Appears in:	Episode 4: Dark Room

"In My Mind" is a single by Amanda Palmer from her album Amanda Palmer Goes Down Under and is featured in Episode 4 of Life is Strange, heard when Max Caulfield returns from the alternative timeline and finds herself in the room of Chloe Price.

Lyrics

In my mind

In a future five years from now

I'm a hundred and twenty pounds

And I never get hung over

Because I will be the picture of discipline

Never minding what state I'm in

And I will be someone I admire

And it's funny how I imagined

That I would be that person now

But it does not seem to have happened

Maybe I've just forgotten how to see

That I am not exactly the person that I thought I'd be

And in my mind

In the faraway here and now

I've become in control somehow

And I never lose my wallet

Because I will be the picture of discipline

Never fucking up anything

And I'll be a good defensive driver

And it's funny how I imagined

That I would be that person now

But it does not seem to have happened

Maybe I've just forgotten how to see

That I'll never be the person that I thought I'd be

And in my mind

When I'm old I am beautiful

Planting tulips and vegetables

Which I will mindfully watch over

Not like me now

I'm so busy with everything

That I don't look at anything

But I'm sure I'll look when I am older

And it's funny how I imagined

That I could be that person now

But that's not what I want

But that's what I wanted

And I'd be giving up somehow

How strange to see

That I don't wanna be the person that I want to be

And in my mind

I imagine so many things

Things that aren't really happening

And when they put me in the ground

I'll start pounding the lid

Saying I haven't finished yet

I still have a tattoo to get

That says I'm living in the moment

And it's funny how I imagined

That I could win this, win this fight

But maybe it isn't all that funny

That I've been fighting all my life

But maybe I have to think it's funny

If I wanna live before I die

And maybe it's funniest of all

To think I'll die before I actually see

That I am exactly the person that I want to be

Fuck yes

I am exactly the person that I want to be

Videos

"In My Mind" by Amanda Palmer

Interpretation

It seems this song has been chosen precisely because of its lyrics:

• "In a future five years from now" coincides perfectly with what happened to Max: she just traveled in time from 2008 to 2013 or, to put it another way, five years.

• "I will be the picture of discipline", "In the faraway here and now I've become in control somehow". Max wants to be the best person possible and be in control of her powers: she thinks she can "twist time around her fingers" and save William with impunity.
• "I'll be a good defensive driver". This line hits just as Max embraces Chloe, who in the alternate timeline had been paralysed in a car crash.

• "And it's funny how I imagined / That I would be that person now / But it does not seem to have happened / Maybe I've just forgotten how to see / That I'll never be the person that I thought I'd be". These lines could also be interpreted as Max realizing she could have turned to be a totally different person (the alternative Max) but didn't. It could also be interpreted as Max understanding she could never be the person she wanted to be, that is to say the "normal" Max but still friend with Chloe and with William alive (which was her original plan).

• "And it's funny how I imagined that I could be that person now, but that's not what I want. But that's what I wanted." These lines can be also interpreted as Max having made a choice: she wanted to make things different by saving William, but in the end she traded her new life with her old one, not without having regrets about her failure to save William.

• "To think I'll die before I actually see that I am exactly the person that I want to be" These lines seem to foreshadow the gruesome fate of Chloe if the player picks the saving the bay ending. On the cliff, Chloe realizes she was the one to blame for almost everything wrong in her life and admits she was self-centered but she will unfortunately die before ever realizing it (since Max came back in time to let her die in the bathroom).

• "I still have a tattoo to get" could also be a reference to Chloe's tattoo.